Exactly how much are you being paid to go on this sickening crusade against piracy?
Do you really expect me to believe that this is a subject that bothers you so much you feel the need to become some sort of idiotic spokesperson for the ailing music industry megabuckers? Are you upset because when you said “daddy, can I be a pop star” you imagined that the income would be even fucking higher than it already is for you? Should you have asked daddy to make you a glamour model? Or a Bond villain? Or a soap star? (oh, you’re too rough for Hollyoaks, soz) Or any other fucking thing his mates down at the Groucho club could have made you?
You don’t give a shit about musicians, they’re just the dudes who stand behind you while you churn out under-average performance after under-average performance. You are not a musician, you have never been in a band, you have never struggled, you have no passion for music, all you wanted was for your dad to make you one of the cool kids. You fucking corporate pig. Good old Dad, getting his mates to spend weeks in the studio writing you a bunch of tunes so you could be famous. You weren’t even there! I know, because I was the fucking runner! Mayfair studios, in Primrose Hill, bringing your dad and Alex James tea and biscuits for a hundred quid a week. Fuuuucking sweet job!
I can see it now, all the grey faced, Eastenders-addled drones, stumbling, slack jawed down to HMV to write that great wrong they have done by downloading music. They saw you in the metro and you really struck a chord with them! Yes, Lily is right, must buy CD’s or the world will collapse!
Yeah fucking right it will, who on earth will pick the bands to force into 360 deals now that all the pretty girls with the well connected fathers aren’t clogging the A&R departments? Who will be left to use their job title to get them into the Kanye after-party so they can maybe get to let him spunk on their face in the bogs? What will the fucking world do?
Nothing, it’ll do nothing you twat. All the fucking proper musicians living on the breadline will just keep doing the same thing, playing the music they want to play and maybe there will be less dickhead popularity whores like yourself flouncing around the stage at Glastonbury next year.
Get out of the papers love, you’re making a dick of yourself, you’re a popstar, thats all, good for nothing but drinking cocktails and wiggling around on Callum Best’s lap in some shit aftershow in the West End until he takes you home, ties you up and fucks you like a pig. You don’t really like it, but it’s Callum Best!!! If you want people to take more notice of you, maybe walk up to Primrose Hill and get your horrible gash out while walking your dog or something? Maybe you’ll get lucky and some paparazzi slug will take a snap that’ll end up in the Daily sport, that’ll shift a few units for you, and that’s what it’s all about eh???
Edited 25th of Sept to add:
Because we realise people are getting quite heated I thought it was only right that I post a serious topic about this. Here it is